Today I celebrated 9 months clean & sober. Of course, that's a relative term because my "celebrating" is sitting here snorting Ritalin, the very thing I haven't done since June 16, 2009. Yes, that right. As I'm sitting here typing this right now, I'm relapsing. I have lines cut right here in front of me, and I'm snorting them up and feeling no pain. That'll come later.
Why would anyone do this who's worked so hard to stay clean for the better part of a year? Good question. The answer for me is a combination of pressure and trauma.
Relapse is rough. But it can't happen without recovery coming first. My addiction is more in the realm of self mutilation, but addiction is addiction and recovery is recovery.
ReplyDeleteNine months is great! I think that's just about as far as I got before I relapsed the first time. "Celebrate". Go ahead. Fall off the band wagon, love it, hate it, regret it, and jump back on.
Hoping to hear how it's going. =]
-Prozzy