Nov 11, 2010

Happy Veteran's Day! Have Some Free Coffee!

I just stopped at my neighborhood grocery store and saw this sign on the front door:

"All veterans receive a free cup of coffee."
I burst out laughing, while at the same time feeling utter contempt and despair for the completely fucked up, absurdist thing we call "reality".

If I could rewrite that sign myself, it would go a little something like this:
"Thanks, veterans, for dying for us, getting your guts shot out while charging into machine gun fire, being bombed, blown to pieces, and burned alive while we drop Agent Orange on you and ignore you and drive your families into poverty and sheer desperation.

Please accept this absolutely FREE cup of shitty gas station coffee as a small token of our appreciation. It's just our way of saying "thank you" for dying for us while we piss in your face. Did we mention that the coffee is FREE?! That means YOU don't have to pay for it. Just everything else. But not this cup of Boyd's Best. No siree! 

Don't you worry about a thing. It's ON US!

1 comment:

  1. Yeah, it should be:

    "All veterans receive a free cup of deep, deep fellatio."

    I'm with ya, bro.